Make amends to YOURSELF today.
Today is the Day of Atonement in the Jewish faith … the holiest day of the year … it’s a day of deep contemplation of ways in which we’ve “wronged” another and can ask forgiveness and make amends to those individuals. The Jewish faith says it isn’t enough to ask forgiveness … to actually change your behavior is the amends that transforms us. This is powerful stuff.
Asking forgiveness and changing our behavior.
Let’s say that impatience with my son is what I want to make amends for. When I make amends for being impatient with MYSELF and change that behavior, not only do I become more patient with myself, but it ripples into my relationship with my son and I find myself much more patient, relaxed, light-hearted, open-hearted and full of joy and laughter with HIM.
The more I practice making amends to MYSELF, the less I “wrong” another. The more I say things to myself like, “I’m so sorry for the way I’m so impatient with myself. I’m sorry for having such high expectations of myself and then judging myself so harshly. I see the ways I’m always seeing what I ‘haven’t’ done, rather than what I have. It’s not how I want to be with myself and I set a strong intention to change that behavior”
What does changing the behavior look like?
Becoming aware.
Once I am aware, I say things to myself like, “I’m so sorry I was hard on my self this evening. I see that I’m doing the best I can do with getting Will to his homework, shower, and chores. I see my best of intentions. I see how much I have on my plate, wanting to connect with him, get dinner done, dishes are done, kitchen cleaned, emails answered … not to mention trying to dim the lights, turn on some music to create a peaceful atmosphere in the house.”
Taking the time to see what I “am” doing is the change in behavior that allows my nervous system to relax. It brings me into inner alignment, inner “at-one-ment”. Imagine if you spoke to yourself this way every day. When you speak to yourself this way, you’ll speak to your children this way. You’ll feel SO GOOD when this happens. THEY will feel SO GOOD when this happens!
This is making amends. Making amends brings you back into inner alignment with your HIGHEST SELF. Making amends brings you peace with yourself. When we are at peace with ourselves, we find peace with our children and all those around us.
Will you try it today and let me know how it goes? I’d love to hear!