I can’t even believe Jami and I have been married for 20 years, together for 24!
Whether you’re married, parenting, “adult-ing”, “career-ing”, “friend-ing”, we’re all involved in long term relationships to differing degrees.
What makes a relationship work well?
What makes a relationship THRIVE?
These questions fascinate me and I’m continually looking for answers within myself, in my relationships (especially with Jami and Will), and with all of my clients.
As I contemplate what I’ve learned, I’ve found 3 stand out practices that, when practiced consistently, will TRANSFORM your relationships and bring closer, more intimate connections with your spouse, children, parents, in-laws, co-workers, friendships and with your own clients, if you are a coach or therapist.
- CLEAN MY OWN SIDE OF THE STREET
If I had to choose only one practice, hands down, I’d choose looking at how I’m occurring in my relationships. It’s easy to look at how the other person is showing up, but HOW I OCCUR is the only part of the relationship that I have dominion over.
The more I look at how I am occurring in the relationship – without self-judgment – the more I want to show up as my best self.
I’m not going to lie. Looking at how you occur in your relationships can feel EXCRUCIATING for the ego that wants to point the finger at the other! Yet, this single practice that has transformed the quality of my marriage, parenting and family of origin relationships
- APPRECIATION. APPRECIATION, MORE APPRECIATION
Learning to look at what IS working is my relationships game changer. Not a day goes by that I don’t consciously share with Jami, Will, friends, clients what I sincerely appreciate and acknowledge about them.
Everyone seeks to be seen and to know they matter.
To me, this is a Spiritual Practice.
Appreciation sets a tone in the relationship. It creates a SAFE SPACE, a SACRED SPACE, that lets the other person SHINE!
Appreciation creates a positive connection. When appreciation is shown in a relationship, it engages those who are in it to continue rising into more and more positive connection.
My desire is to leave every interaction I can sincerely and authentically sharing how I truly feel about the other. When I’m able to do that, inevitably I’m the one who feels closer, more expanded and richer.
My hope for you this week, is that you’ll look – with COMPASSIONATE EYES – at how you’re occurring in your significant relationships. Your own transformation will transform your relationships. And it’s the part of your relationships that you have 100% dominion over.
Next, find things to appreciate in your intimate relationships. Share what you observe and watch those you care for LIGHT UP!
I’ll share my 3rd practice in my next newsletter, but I hope you’ll join my FREE 3 part Relationship Intensive. I’ll be sharing other practices and principles that can help you TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. I’d love to see you there!
Sign-up for the Relationship Intensive using this link
https://courses.suzilula.com/p/relationshipintensive/
Much love,